Last week there was a worship conference called Re:Create in Nashville. Each night of the week a different Christian music company held an event for the group. Thursday night was EMI's turn. There's a famous venue in Nashville called, 3rd & Lindsley, and this is where we held a dinner and writer's round. Five of EMI's signed songwriters came to perform and to share. It was an amazing moment when I realized that we were basically having an incredible time of worship in a bar. The evening ended with the Matt Maher song "Hold Us Together" and everyone in the pub was singing, and clapping and raising drink glasses - it was pure Nashville. It was awesome.
This past weekend, I was given one of the greatest gifts ever - a weekend with three dear, dear friends of mine; three amazing ladies. The particulars of all the crazy things we did aren't necessarily important (although I must say, it did include everything that would constitute the epitome of a perfect girls weekend: chinese food, ice cream, chocolate, martinis, doing each others' hair, a Disney movie, a chick flick, boy stories, dressing up, taking pictures, pillow fights, cuddling, coffee, shoe shopping, wedding plans, and lots and lots of giggling) - but the point being, I often imagine certain scenes in my mind of what I would like my life to be like, or scenarios that I think would be fantastic to live out. In particular, as a little girl all I wanted to do was grow up. I thought grown ups were the coolest; I had so many ideas of what I wanted to do, and had this image in my mind of who I wanted to be and what I wanted my grown-up life to look like. Normally pre-conceived notions tend to err on the side of unhelpful, but this weekend fulfilled so many of those in a positive way. There were numerous instances this weekend were I was so happy, and the scene so picturesque I literally thought I was dreaming. The sheer happiness of it all cast a haze over my mind so that it didn't fully seem like reality.
Lately I've been feeling a bit stressed about upcoming decisions that will have to be made. Unfortunately, far too often, I think so narrowly - I assume I have to choose between A or B, and forget that there are 24 other letters of the alphabet. I forget that there are so many other options in life than the obvious ones that I can see at present. As I was thinking about this I was recollecting the ways that God has always prepared me for whatever came my way next; and then I saw it. I saw in a very intangible way, how God is preparing me for whatever comes next. How you may ask. Well, as my mind reels with a million and one options of the way life could possibly turn, I have to think again, and again of what am I willing to give up in order to follow God's call. Ironically, what I have to give up is my unwillingness to do certain things; things that scare me. So I have to give up, giving up on things I don't want to do. As I think through each possibility I am brought to the point where I have to be ready and content for anything. Certain parts of my heart that have been clamped shut, God is slowly prying open and asking me to at least consider what He could do there. I have to be willing for just about anything. I am being prepared and I am being poured out.
It is such a blessing to watch as God grows you up in grace, Kristina!!
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